Looking outside the Window #24

“Good Evening.”


“So how are you feeling today?”



“Yes, like I do not exist. They make me feel like I do not exist. I only remember my name because they call it when they need to… I miss being lost.”

“Have you ever felt this before?”


“Why didn’t you say it loud when you did?”

“Coz, I didn’t know about my existence before.”

“But, you were alone out there when you were lost!”

“No…I was not alone, I was with myself. That’s when I realized that I have a self as well.”

“Don’t you love them? Your own blood kind. Don’t you think they love you?”

“Is it a compulsion to love blood relations?
My name is a just a word and my body is a physical proof of my presences…but, do I exist?
In their company, my words are dissolved in the air. My thoughts are a flame under the sun. My physical presence is a mirage. But, my existence?”

“So you are saying that you are going through an Identity crisis?”

“Identity? I know who I am, at least to myself. That’s all that Identity I need.”

“Then what. is. it!?”

“. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .”

“They care for you, that’s why you and I are talking here!”

“They don’t know me. They think something is wrong with the old me, that’s what you and I are talking here.”

“So what do you want? You have people around, you have a comfortable life as well, you practically have everything”

“What’s ‘practically everything’ when you don’t have everything spiritually?”

“But you said you do have yourself.”

“I do? Then why do I feel so Invisible? Why do they make me feel that I do not exists, my disputes, my opinions, my life? Why do they think that I am camouflaged? I blend into their words, their thoughts, their decisions and their arrangements? With EVERYTHING that you mentions, why don’t I have anything? Why don’t I have the space to take a stand, to establish and define my identification to them?”

“So what do you want?”

“I want myself again, without evey-THING and with everything…”

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