Looking outside the Window #38

By the time he finished the story, she had fallen in love with his thoughts.

They spoke about other things on the way as well. She had now met a young man who talked about stars, and the dew drops, spirituality and happiness. He was too good to be true.

Too Good To Be True!

The thought did not feel good, but the present was so blissful. There were moments when she thought she was talking to her reflections.

“and, you know, all those tiny things in life that matters the most” he said, and her eyes filled with tears. She blinked and as if her reflection was in the water and the tear drop blurred it all with the ripples.

She nodded and then looked away.

“What’s the matter?” he asked in his constant, concerned voice.

“I’ve never met a man of this intellect. Sensitivity was always their weakness and I learned that that’s how men are. ‘This is what I am, this is how I am made’ is all I hear in the answers of questions that hurt so much. How are you different, why are you different?”

He smiled.

That steadiness in his eyes and the tender smile, like a divine figure.

Too Good To Be True.

It hit her again, along with the hit on the car breaks.

“I am tired of driving, I need a break.” The thin guy announced. So they all decided to get off the car.

She kept thinking about all the men she has met, her friends, her lovers, her family. And none were even closely beautiful as this one was. It started to get her into her own sort of real world and the world she was in right now. Like she was in a huge game where both the side snatched and pulled her towards them. Didn’t care if she hurt, they just wanted to win.

And she kept on walking. Wandering. Lost!

She thought to talk this feeling out with him so she turned, and realized she had walked far away from him. Again! She kept loosing people, she kept getting lost, and never met them again. This made her heart sink. “This is it; I am never going to see him again.”

And she continued to walk…

By this time, she was getting used to people being around a moment, and then not. Talking, and then silence. Crying, and then a dry heart. So she kept walking, holding hands of the memories of all of them. She looked around and she saw him. “How is this even possible” she thought to herself.

She ran towards him. He was walking slowly towards her and stood as he got close. Meanwhile she ran and hugged him. She was so happy; she couldn’t stop smiling. He got a little awkward, a little repellent, a little confused. She sensed the discomfort and let go of him immediately. The smile worn off her face instantly.

“What’s wrong?” He asked

“I have a feeling that I am supposed to let go of something”

“What is it?”

“I don’t know, it’s just a feeling in my heart. Its heavy, I can physically feel it”

“Oh!” that’s all he could say to comfort her. As if he knew what she was talking about but didn’t want to tell her.

She let go. But this wasn’t the thing, she knew it. It was something major. These small kind of things were let gone very easily. Probably she was so used to them that she could ignore. But that ‘something’ was going to be huge.

They started walking and her mind kept contemplating that feeling. There were times when he was walking ahead of her, and she would subconsciously follow him. There were times when he would stop and look around to find a path and she would subconsciously stop with him. And then there were times that he walked beside her, and swinging hands might touch each other, and her heart beat would raise, slammed back and immediately she could feel that touch going away.

This happened twice and she couldn’t bare the pain when that physical contact of a millisecond was lost. When this happened for the third time, she started to get the grip of what was happening. She realized that it was the time to let go of the hope she was tightly holding on to, for so long.

With every step she took, she had a sense of the feeling, but the pain over powered. She looked at that charming face and wondered “how?”

“How do I let go of someone I want to hold so tight forever? Suddenly forever seems such a long time, and letting go is going leave scratches on my soul. How do I let go of all the stories that are already written about us?”

Then, no matter how many correct path he took her on, she knew she had to lead her own way.


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