Looking outside the Window #39

“Your parents complain that you don’t talk to people. Why is that so?”

“I don’t need to talk to people”

“Why not?”

“Why should I?”

“Because we are humans.”

“Exactly why. I don’t think I particularly like humans.”

She did not know how to handle this anymore. It had been months talking to her but it was too difficult to get her out of that world.

“But you say you met a lot of people when you were lost in the woods, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but they went away, without harming me.”

“And why do you think people around you right now want to harm you.”

“Because that’s what they do. People I met back then never expected anything from me and never wanted me to expect anything from them. People here want me to be in a certain way, do a certain thing, talk a certain way. Be something I am not!”

“Something?”

“Yes, a thing.”

Trying to continue she asked, “And what if you do?”

“What I become that thing?” She snickered, “They will think like I am one of them. They will treat me like a fool because they know I am not one, but I pretend to be one to live up to their expectations.”

“And then?”

“They will think I am weak, and attack me. They will be nice enough for me to open my heart a little and then tear it further, they will walk in like taking a stroll in a garden, stay and dance for a little while to my music, and then, once they are bored with the tune, they will walk away… ruining my song for me, leaving my heart open and bleeding. And I won’t be able to mend it. All I will be left to do is… hide it, hide it with a pretty, black dress so that they don’t spot the blood stain on it, and then it will go in circles till the blood starts dripping from my black stainless dress.

And my body surrenders to the gravity and my soul, to the universe…”

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