Anxiety

There are times when I am so anxious
that I forget to breathe for a while

So anxious
that my heart would stop but not my thoughts,
like someone is constantly stabbing my chest
and tickling my intestine, all at once
I cannot feel my hands or my legs
and yet I am carrying a rock over my shoulders.
The constant pulling and placing the ring back on my finger
without realizing the patterns.
I am looking right at you, right here
But your voice is dissolved in water while I drown
I want to scream my lungs out, in the middle of a busy road
without bleeding. Without noise.
The desperation for my soul to be snatched from my body
leaving all the organs shattered on the railway tracks,
increases.
Like there is a huge calamity trapped inside my lungs
and my eyes are the only source to burst through,
all the fucking time!
Every second of the day!
With every blink of the eyes
And I tell myself
it’s just a phase,
tomorrow will be a new day
and I rant it like a prayer,
only to get away from being a prey.

 

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