one day I dared.

One day I dared,

I dared to look into those malicious eyes…

It was just a few years ago that I walked in front of them

Still so new, so young, so naïve

Just a few years ago I was all that

There were interactions which were necessary

And there were interactions which were inconsequential

…At least that’s what I thought

Day after day, every day

Those pupils held so many unwarranted interactions

In my direction

Day after day, every day

those pupils turned into multiple stones

weighing these interactions down

Drowning them like Virginia Wolf into that river

The load of this suicide was slid on my shoulder to reach my throat

And slit it… probably

I started to slouch,

And my curved body made more space for the stones

Like my curved palms make space for the rain

I dragged my deformed body in front of them everyday

Like this was a part of the process

Like I was going to become a better version of this

That’s what I was told

“you are good enough to become more of what you think you are”

this was a part of the process, wasn’t it?

Or was it just my greed to be recognized?

One day I woke up and looked myself in the mirror. My back had bent so much and I saw a reflection of myself wearing a necklace of stones. I was leaning towards the ground so much that the ceiling was out of my sight.

“This is not how you should be feeling grounded” A loving voice said to me. Suddenly I felt like I was so crooked that if the gravity was upside down it still couldn’t pull me straight.

That day decided, decided to look into those stony eyes…

And as I raised my eyes to meet theirs

The earth started shaking beneath my feet,

The creepers tore apart the ground

& they prowled upon me

My feet, my legs, my bottom, my stomach, my chest, my neck.

Only my face was untouched for those eyes to gaze at

I cannot move nor can I breathe. This is the day I regret walking in front of them for the first time, the first time I dared to look into those eerie eyes.

This is the day when I am tied and tried to breakthrough

Before I get smashed till it creeps my bones.

One thought on “one day I dared.

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