I think letting go of someone is an overrated feeling.
When last night we gathered to say goodbye to you
They asked me to give a farewell speech
I hid behind my shy smile trying to make everyone believe that I am an introvert
Until they gave up
But you looked at me with some hope in your eyes
So, I just looked away
Making it clear to you that saying goodbye is so overrated for me,
Especially when I am here, merely gathering alphabets from your name together to make a word and start a sentence
But I fail as the letters dissolve in my tears and build a wall in my throat
I mean… guarding
my words and my tears to come out,
How do I say “I will miss” you without missing a heartbeat that you will take away with you when you are gone?
How do I say “farewell” without digging a deep well into all our memories together?
How do I say “come back soon” when every second of letting you go is the longest one?
How do I say “take it easy” when not seeing your face every morning is going to be the hardest thing for me?
Instead, I did want to say
“Our breakfast table chats have always been a reminder of how we have grown
Our inside jokes have always been a reminder of how we are still kids
Now I am just stuck in the present without you,
In my late 20s
Don’t know if I am still young or growing old.
You not being around is making growing up so overrated!”
Nonetheless, I remained silent in that room last night
Masked with my belief of “everything is so overrated”
I will always remain silent about your name in my heart
And pretend like you just exist around
But… don’t forget to find yourself in my poetries
Every time you want to turn around.