They say, man is a social animal.
Unfortunately for her socializing was something else.
She was walking by the promenade one evening. Looking at things she has seen million times before. Remembering every time she was there. With all sorts of people. Family, friends, partners. Walking down with all the different pictures in her head.
“Here is where we came to celebrate our graduation party. We drank beer for the first time together. We were so naïve.” And she laughs to herself as her eyes glitter. Not with nostalgia but with loneliness.
She doesn’t have anyone to talk to…
That’s because she doesn’t want to talk to anyone…
“It’s a vicious circle, isn’t it?” she thinks as she crosses the road. Nothing is wrong in her life. A perfectly paying job, amazing parents, a great partner. But she has drawn a line somewhere. Its one of those places where we feel this is it, this is the happiest one can get. Whatever beyond this is only going down.
There is that problem. It is such a thin line she is walking on that she can only think about either falling on the right or the left, but there is definitely falling…
Oh yes, coming back to being social. If you are an over thinker, you will relate to the situation she is in.
She doesn’t socialize. Not because she is an introvert. But also because she doesn’t have time for it. She is busy taking such lanes to walk where she is only greeted with what if-s and your seconds have been too good to be true-s.
A ping on her phone and she is dragged out of everything. “What’s cooking good looking?” it reads. And she blushes, and she stops, and she wants to cry, and she goes back to where she was. This lane is where all her fears and insecurities live. So she rings a bell on all the doors and runs away and comes back to visit them and walks out and ring some other doors.
It’s tiring!! I know. But you get where this is going? Well, you will if you are an over thinker.
So she is there, drenched in her own sweat of the tears that she is trying to soak inside her own body.
“Should I reply to the text?”
Insecurity: If you don’t you will miss out on this moment
Sadness: But if she does, she will want more!
“Hey!! Where did you come from!?”
Sadness: remember you rang my doorbell and ran away? That’s what you do every time. I am too familiar to that now!
Insecurity: Don’t waste time! Reply now or you will NEVER get this chance!
Sadness: That’s what I am saying, you will never get this chance anyway!
“Heyyyyyyy!!!! Why are you here?”
Fear: doorbell, remember?
“I gotta stop doing this”
Fear: too late…
TOO LATE! That’s what!!!
“Fine! I will reply with something nice to that”
Insecurity: right away!!!
Sadness: when was the last time you felt this nice about a text message?
Insecurity: But if you don’t even do it now, you will never know!
“That’s it. I am going to play it cool!”
Nothing, just taking a walk. What’s up with you?
And the conversation followed the way it always did…
anyway, so what was I talking about?…